Why I Don’t Like Capsaicin.

What about the title? No, this isn’t capsaicin, this is cheddar. This is capcaisin.

Capsaicin and I used to be friends. We aren’t friends anymore. Enemies now. Let me explain.
I wanted to make jalapeno cheddar hoagies. I’ve made jalapeno cheddar bread before, yes. But I wanted to make hoagies, and somehow concentrate the flavor of jalapenos after my friend, whom I had made the bread for (Hi, Bob), said that he would like to see if I could make it really spicy. Okay, let’s go for it.
On the spot, I develop a recipe, using a few recipes as a base. Well, I could have made half of this one, this was so much dough my mixer pulled a hissy fit, and only said he would mix them if I went out and got him ice cream for dinner then MAYBE it would happen. Needless to say, I mixed the dough by hand and had my mixer knead it. Note that I said “HAD”, this is important, kids, discipline. Or else they’ll never learn.
Continuing, sorry. Anyway, I used a lot of jalepenos. A lot. Frighteningly a lot. Four unscraped jalepenos went into this recipe, and I told myself that I would wash my hands promptly afterward. Heck, maybe I’ll dip my fingers in milk (which is a known supressant. Swish it around in your mouth and spit it out, it gets all of those spicy evil-doers out if you don’t like them). Anyway, I washed my hands, yes, and set the dough to rise, then went off to have lunch with my grandfather. Here’s the partial conversation:
Dado and myself: :talk talk talk:
Myself: ahhahahhhahhh :lightly scratches corner of eye: Oh… oh no…
Dado: What’s wrong?
Myself: Aahh…oh NOOO.

Self-explanatory. Thankfully, it was short-lived and I had my grilled chicken in peace, but either way…I am no longer on speaking terms with capsaicin. Let’s make bread.

Get your ingredients ready. Shred up some sharp cheddar cheese and grate up some Parmigiano Reggiano. This stuff is pricey, but it beats the stuff in the green can by a long shot. Want to know how good it is? I hate cheese, no no no. But I leap with glee when I taste this stuff. Enough proof for you? Good :).

Those are the jalepenos with their capsaicin…that jerk.

Let your yeast rise. There is a lot of yeast in this recipe, and it will almost overflow after ten minutes. Have your water be warm, when you touch it with your finger you shouldn’t say “That’s hot!” you SHOULD say “That’s warm!” Yeast love the temperature range of 105-109 degrees, I personally don’t like to go below 105, and NEVER above 110.

Please pretend you saw me mixing the ingredients all together by hand. None of the pictures came out very well, as I can have a fidgity hand. Thanks, sir.
Anyway, when you are done kneading (your mixer can take it at this point), drop dough into the greased bowl and cover it with plastic wrap on top. Allow to sit in a warm place and rise for 1 hour, or until doubled.

See? Doubled! I love it when yeast works.

Now, separate the dough into 16 EVEN dough balls, they will be about the size of a hoagie roll. Roll the dough like you would when you made a play-dough snake and place on a prepared cookie sheet. Cover, and allow to rise in a warm place for about 1 hour, or until doubled. Top with cheddar cheese, and transfer to your oven.

Hi…I don’t like the friend that you have…

But you taste really good…I forgive you.
You can slice it like this if you want. Its more of a sandwich loaf, I just did this to show you what it looked like.

Warning: Its pretty spicy.

Jalapeno Cheese Hoagie Rolls
3 Cups Shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese (opt. 1 cup extra for topping)
1 Cup Grated Parmigiano Reggiano
5 Jalapenos, chopped (you can seed them if you would like, the heat resides in the seeds and ribs)
8 Cups All-Purpose Flour
1 Tsp. Salt
8 T. Sugar
2 Cups Warm Water (105-109 degrees)
4 T. Vegetable Oil
7 tsp + 1/2 tsp Active Dry Yeast

1. Combine water, yeast, and 1 T. sugar in a bowl, stir to dissolve as much yeast as possible, and allow to sit for 10 minutes until very foamy.
2. Stir together both cheeses, flour, peppers, remaining sugar, salt, and 7 cups of the flour until well-combined in a large bowl. Add in oil and yeast mixture and stir until flour is gone, you might need to use your hands. Transfer to the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the dough hook attachment and knead until smooth and elastic, 8 minutes. You can knead by hand for 15 minutes, if you want to.
3. Transfer dough to a greased bowl and grease well. Cover with plastic wrap, and allow to rise in a warm place until doubled, around 1 hour to an hour and a half.
4. Divide dough into 16 even pieces, and roll into rounded rectangles. Transfer to a prepared baking sheet, cover, and allow to rise for 1 hour.
5. Preheat oven to 400 degrees, and transfer 7 rolls to another baking sheet. Sprinkle the tops with cheddar cheese (it helps to divot the tops of each roll, so that the cheese stays on). Bake one pan at a time for 30-35 minutes, or until the hoagie turns dark brown, and sounds hollow when tapped.
6. Allow to cool at least 30 minutes before enjoying as a sandwich :).

Happy Baking!


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